Are We the Authors of Our Story… or Merely Its Characters?

Written by SHIVASHRI GUPTAA | SHREEBIRD


A Question That Might Change the Way You See Yourself

If someone asked you today—

“Why are you the person you are?”

What would your answer be?

Would you say—

“Because life happened to me this way.”

Or would you answer—

“Because I’ve always been this person.”

At first, it sounds like a simple question.

But the longer you sit with it…

the deeper it reaches into the very core of your identity.


Imagine this…

It’s two o’clock in the morning.

The city is asleep.

But one small lamp is still glowing inside a quiet room.

A young woman sits on the floor, flipping through the pages of her old journal.

Every page holds a different version of herself.

The excitement of her first dream.

The heartbreak of her first failure.

The warmth of a friendship she thought would last forever.

The silence that followed a painful goodbye.

The day she almost gave up.

And the day she decided to believe in herself again.

She smiles.

Then her eyes drift toward the mirror across the room.

For a long moment…

she simply stares at the person looking back at her.

A question quietly rises within her—

“If none of these moments had ever happened… would I still be the same person standing here today?”

And perhaps…

that is where today’s journey truly begins.


How Does a Human Being Become Who They Are?

When a child enters this world…

they don’t arrive carrying memories.

No achievements.

No failures.

No heartbreaks.

No life lessons.

And yet…

some children are naturally calm.

Some are endlessly curious.

Some are cautious around strangers.

Others run fearlessly toward every new experience.

Long before life teaches us anything…

something within us already whispers its first language.

Then life begins.

People enter.

People leave.

Dreams bloom.

Dreams shatter.

Love transforms us.

Loss humbles us.

Failure questions us.

Success changes us.

And slowly…

every experience leaves an invisible fingerprint on our soul.

Some moments teach us courage.

Some teach us fear.

Some teach us compassion.

And some leave behind a silence so deep…

that it takes years to find words for it.


But Are Experiences the Whole Story?

If experiences alone create who we become…

then why don’t people who live through the same event become the same person?

Why does one heart break…

while another heart awakens?

Why does failure destroy one dream…

but ignite another?

Why does rejection make one person hide…

while inspiring another to rise stronger than ever before?

The event was the same.

The pain was real for both.

So where did the difference come from?

Perhaps…

the answer was never outside them.

Perhaps…

it was already waiting within.


Maybe Life Doesn’t Change Us…

Maybe life simply reveals the person we have the potential to become.

Or perhaps…

it creates an entirely new version of us.

That is what makes this question so fascinating.

Are we merely products of our circumstances?

Or do circumstances uncover something that has always existed beneath the surface?


This Article Is Not About Choosing a Side

Because life isn’t a courtroom…

where every question has only one correct answer.

This isn’t an argument between Nature and Nurture.

It’s an exploration of something far more meaningful—

What truly shapes a human soul?

Together, we’ll travel through the discoveries of modern psychology…

the wonders of neuroscience…

the timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita…

the silence of the Buddha…

Carl Jung’s understanding of the unconscious…

and Viktor Frankl’s search for meaning in humanity’s darkest moments.

By the end of this journey…

you may not simply find an answer to this question.

You may discover…

an entirely new way of understanding yourself.


“We are not defined by the events that happen to us, but by the meaning we choose to give them.”

— SHREEBIRD


When Memories Become the Architects of the Mind

“No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
— Heraclitus


Close your eyes for a moment.

Think of three moments that changed your life forever.

Perhaps…

the first time someone truly believed in you.

Or the first time someone made you feel that you were never enough.

Maybe it was a teacher who saw your potential before you did.

Or a relationship that shattered your trust.

Perhaps it was a failure…

that quietly redirected your entire future.

Now ask yourself one simple question—

Did those moments merely happen…

or…

are they still living somewhere inside you today?

If your answer is yes…

you’re not alone.

Because human beings don’t simply remember experiences.

We build our identity around them.

And without realizing it…

we spend years living according to the stories those experiences created.


The Brain Is Not a Camera… It’s a Storyteller.

Most of us believe our brain works like a camera.

We imagine that it records every moment exactly as it happened.

But neuroscience tells a very different story.

The brain doesn’t preserve events.

It interprets them.

And sometimes…

that interpretation becomes more powerful than reality itself.

That’s why two siblings can grow up in the same home…

with the same parents…

the same childhood…

the same memories…

yet carry completely different versions of the past.

One says,

“I had a beautiful childhood.”

The other quietly whispers,

“I never really felt loved.”

The house was the same.

The family was the same.

The years were the same.

So why did the memories become different?

Because…

what shapes us isn’t always what happened.

It’s what we believed happened.


Childhood—Where Our Inner World Begins

A newborn doesn’t understand language.

It understands experience.

When a baby cries…

and someone gently holds them…

their tiny brain learns its first lesson—

“The world is safe.”

But when comfort is absent…

or love feels unpredictable…

another belief may quietly begin to grow—

“Maybe I’m on my own.”

Notice something important.

The event itself was small.

But the belief it created…

could influence an entire lifetime.

Those invisible beliefs eventually shape—

our confidence,

our relationships,

our decisions,

our fears,

and even the way we see ourselves.


Experiences Don’t Shape Our Personality…

They Shape Our Beliefs.

We often say,

“That experience changed me.”

But perhaps that’s only half the truth.

The experience didn’t directly change you.

It created a belief.

That belief shaped your habits.

Your habits influenced your choices.

Your choices built your character.

And your character slowly became your identity.

Which means…

the greatest battles we fight are rarely against the world.

They are against the invisible beliefs we carry within ourselves.


And Yet…

There Is Something Beautiful About the Human Mind.

If experiences can shape us…

can new experiences reshape us?

If childhood convinced you—

“I’m not good enough.”

Does that sentence have to become your life story?

Not at all.

This is where human beings become extraordinary.

The brain isn’t carved in stone.

It is remarkably adaptable.

It learns.

It heals.

It rewrites.

Sometimes…

one mentor…

one friend…

one meaningful conversation…

one life-changing book…

or even a single sentence…

can alter the direction of an entire life.

Because every new experience has the power…

to challenge an old belief.


But Here’s Another Mystery…

If experiences are so powerful…

why do two people respond so differently to the exact same hardship?

Why does pain break one person…

while transforming another into someone stronger, wiser, and kinder?

Why does rejection destroy one dream…

but ignite another?

If the experience is the same…

where does the difference begin?

Perhaps…

the answer doesn’t lie in the experience at all.

Perhaps…

it lies in the person experiencing it.

And that brings us to the next chapter of our journey.

Because now…

the question is no longer about experience.

It’s about human nature itself.


Was Our Story Already Written Before We Were Born?

“A seed already carries the possibility of becoming a tree. Yet the tree it becomes depends on the soil, the sunlight, the rain, and the seasons it survives.”


Imagine this…

Two babies are born…

on the same day…

in the same hospital.

Neither of them has spoken a word.

Neither has experienced love…

loss…

success…

or failure.

Their stories haven’t even begun.

And yet…

one startles at the faintest sound.

The other quietly observes the world around them.

One clings tightly to unfamiliar faces.

The other reaches out with effortless curiosity.

A simple question begins to emerge…

How can two people be so different…

before life has even had the chance to shape them?


Are We Really Born as Blank Pages?

For centuries, many philosophers believed that every human mind begins as a blank slate.

A completely empty page.

A life waiting to be written by experience.

It was a comforting idea.

It suggested that everything we become is simply the result of what happens to us.

But modern psychology and neuroscience paint a more fascinating picture.

Research now suggests that every child enters the world with certain innate temperaments.

Some are naturally calm.

Some are highly sensitive.

Some are adventurous.

Others are deeply cautious.

Some seek novelty.

Others seek security.

In other words…

before the world teaches us who we are…

something within us has already whispered the first line of our story.


But Genes Are Not Destiny

We’ve all heard people say—

“It’s in my blood.”

Or…

“That’s just who I am.”

There’s truth in those words.

But only half the truth.

Our genes may influence our tendencies…

our emotional sensitivity…

our energy…

even parts of our personality.

But they do not write the ending of our story.

They simply write the opening paragraph.

Imagine two people born with extraordinary musical talent.

One spends years practicing with discipline.

The other never touches an instrument again.

Twenty years later…

their lives will look nothing alike.

Because…

potential opens the door.

Choice decides whether we walk through it.


Your Personality Is a Compass…

Not a Prison.

Have you ever noticed…

how some people naturally search for hope…

even in the darkest moments?

While others struggle to see light…

even on the brightest days?

Part of that difference may come from personality.

Our temperament influences the way we interpret the world.

It becomes the lens through which we see reality.

But here’s the beautiful truth…

A lens can be changed.

This is what makes human beings extraordinary.

We may inherit our first perspective.

But we are not condemned to keep it forever.


The Story of a Seed

An apple seed will never grow into an oak tree.

Its nature gives it direction.

But not every apple tree grows the same.

Some become tall.

Some remain small.

Some bear sweet fruit.

Others struggle through harsh seasons before they bloom.

The seed carried a possibility.

The environment shaped its journey.

And time revealed its full potential.

Perhaps human beings are no different.

We arrive carrying possibilities.

Life offers experiences.

And somewhere between the two…

our character is formed.


So… What Is the Truth?

Are we shaped by our experiences?

Or by who we are?

Maybe…

both questions are incomplete.

If genes alone defined us…

no one would ever change.

If experiences alone defined us…

everyone raised in the same family would become the same person.

But life tells a different story.

Perhaps the truth lives in the conversation between the two.

We are born with potential.

Life gives us experiences.

And between those two…

something remarkable appears.

Choice.

It is choice that transforms potential into purpose.

It is choice that gives meaning to experience.

And it is choice…

that quietly becomes identity.


Before We Move Forward…

Let’s pause for one final thought.

If experiences shape us…

and nature guides us…

who, then, is truly holding the pen?

Who writes the next chapter?

Our past?

Our personality?

Or the decisions we make today?

Perhaps…

that question is far more important than everything we’ve discussed so far.

Because it leads us to the heart of this entire journey.


“Your nature gives you a beginning.
Your experiences give you lessons.
But your choices… write your legacy.”

— SHREEBIRD

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

Perhaps We’ve Been Asking the Wrong Question

“Two people can walk through the same storm. One loses their way. The other discovers who they truly are.”


So far, our journey has revealed something fascinating.

Experiences matter.

Nature matters.

Our personality matters.

Our childhood matters.

And yet…

none of them, on their own, can fully explain the mystery of who we become.

So perhaps…

the question itself needs to change.

Instead of asking—

“What shaped me?”

Maybe we should ask—

“Who am I choosing to become because of what shaped me?”

That single shift changes everything.


Krishna’s Wisdom: You Are Not Your Circumstances

On the battlefield of Kurukshetra…

Arjuna stood paralyzed.

Fear clouded his judgment.

Grief weakened his heart.

Confusion silenced his courage.

From the outside…

nothing about his situation changed.

The battlefield remained the same.

The war remained unavoidable.

The uncertainty remained real.

Yet Krishna never tried to change Arjuna’s circumstances.

Instead…

He transformed Arjuna’s perspective.

He didn’t say,

“Escape the battle.”

He said,

“Understand yourself before you fight the battle.”

This is perhaps one of the greatest psychological lessons ever spoken.

Life doesn’t always give us control over what happens.

But it almost always gives us the freedom to choose how we respond.

And sometimes…

that response becomes the very thing that defines us.


Buddha’s Insight: Suffering Begins With Attachment

Prince Siddhartha saw the same world everyone else saw.

Old age.

Illness.

Death.

Loss.

Pain.

But while most people accepted suffering as fate…

he chose to understand it.

The Buddha taught that pain is inevitable.

But suffering…

is deeply connected to the way we cling to our thoughts, expectations, and identities.

Two people may experience the same loss.

One spends a lifetime imprisoned by it.

The other allows it to become a doorway to wisdom.

The event is identical.

The meaning is not.

And perhaps…

meaning is where transformation begins.


Carl Jung: The Parts of Ourselves We Never Meet

Swiss psychologist Carl Jung once wrote—

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

How often do we say—

“That’s just who I am.”

But is it really?

Or are we simply repeating patterns we learned years ago?

Maybe your anger…

isn’t your personality.

Maybe it’s a wound that never felt heard.

Maybe your fear…

isn’t weakness.

Maybe it’s the echo of rejection you’ve carried since childhood.

Maybe your perfectionism…

isn’t ambition.

Maybe it’s the desperate hope that being perfect will finally make you feel worthy.

Sometimes…

what we call our identity…

is simply unhealed experience wearing the mask of personality.


Viktor Frankl: The Last Human Freedom

Few people have tested the limits of human resilience more than Viktor Frankl.

He lost his family.

His freedom.

His home.

His future.

Almost everything that made life familiar was taken away.

Yet inside the concentration camps…

he discovered something extraordinary.

There was still one freedom no one could steal.

The freedom to choose his attitude.

He later wrote—

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

Perhaps that is the heart of this entire discussion.

We cannot always choose our experiences.

But we can choose the meaning we give them.

And that meaning quietly becomes our identity.


So… Who Is the Real Architect of a Human Life?

Is it our genes?

Our childhood?

Our environment?

Our trauma?

Our success?

Maybe…

none of them.

Or perhaps…

all of them.

Identity isn’t created by one single force.

It is woven from many threads.

Our nature gives us a beginning.

Life gives us experiences.

But our conscious choices decide what those experiences become.

Maybe the formula looks something like this—

Identity = Nature + Experiences + Conscious Choice

Remove any one of them…

and the picture is incomplete.


The River, the Boat, and the Oars

Imagine life as a river.

The river’s current…

is your circumstances.

The boat…

is your natural temperament.

But the oars…

those are your choices.

Sometimes the current is gentle.

Sometimes it is violent.

Sometimes your boat is stronger than someone else’s.

Sometimes it isn’t.

But those who learn how to row…

often discover shores that others never believed existed.

Perhaps…

our destiny is not decided by the river alone.

It is shaped by the courage to keep rowing.


Maybe We Are Not Our Past…

Maybe We Are Our Next Decision.

History is filled with people who refused to let their past become their identity.

Children who grew up in poverty…

and changed the world.

People who experienced unbearable loss…

and dedicated their lives to healing others.

Individuals who were rejected…

only to discover a purpose greater than the rejection itself.

If the past alone determined the future…

transformation would be impossible.

Yet transformation is one of the most beautiful truths of being human.

Again and again…

we witness ordinary people becoming extraordinary…

not because life was easy—

but because they refused to let suffering have the final word.


Before You Continue…

Pause for a moment.

Ask yourself—

If every painful memory disappeared tomorrow…

who would you be?

If you had never failed…

would you still possess the same resilience?

If no one had ever broken your heart…

would you understand compassion in the same way?

Perhaps…

our wounds are not the end of our story.

Perhaps…

they are the places where wisdom quietly begins.


“Life shapes us. Nature guides us. But in the end, it is our choices that write our identity.”

— SHREEBIRD


Perhaps We Are Not Finished Becoming

“Life gives us chapters. We decide whether they become tragedies, lessons, or beginnings.”


When we began this journey…

we asked a simple question—

“Are we shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?”

Now, after walking through psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, and timeless wisdom…

perhaps we can finally see something that wasn’t obvious before.

Maybe…

the question never had two opposing answers.

Maybe…

both were true all along.


We Are Not Born Complete

No child enters the world carrying a finished identity.

We arrive with possibilities.

With tendencies.

With invisible seeds waiting for the right season.

Life waters those seeds.

Sometimes with love.

Sometimes with heartbreak.

Sometimes with failure.

Sometimes with hope.

Every conversation…

every loss…

every success…

every disappointment…

adds another brushstroke to the portrait of who we are becoming.

But none of those brushstrokes…

are the entire painting.


Your Wounds Do Not Define You…

The Meaning You Give Them Does.

The same rejection can create bitterness…

or resilience.

The same failure can become shame…

or wisdom.

The same heartbreak can close a heart forever…

or teach it how deeply it can love.

The event remains unchanged.

Its meaning does not.

And meaning…

is where identity quietly takes shape.


Stop Fighting Your Past…

Start Listening to It.

Many of us spend years trying to escape our past.

Some pretend it never happened.

Others relive it every single day.

Neither path brings freedom.

Because the past isn’t asking to be erased.

It is asking to be understood.

Every painful memory carries a question.

Every scar carries a lesson.

And every difficult season leaves behind a choice.

Will this experience become my prison…

or my teacher?

That decision belongs to no one else.

Only you.


Perhaps Life Breaks Us…

So It Can Build Us Again.

Gold is refined by fire.

Diamonds are formed under unimaginable pressure.

A seed must disappear beneath the soil…

before it can rise toward the sun.

Nature has never feared transformation.

Why should we?

Some of the strongest people you’ll ever meet…

are not those who avoided suffering.

They are the ones who allowed suffering…

to reshape them into someone wiser, kinder, and more compassionate.

Sometimes…

the chapters we wish had never happened…

become the chapters we are most grateful for.

Not because they were easy.

But because they revealed strengths we never knew we possessed.


Five Questions That Might Change Your Life

Take a notebook.

Slow down.

And answer these honestly.

1. Which experience has shaped me more than any other?

2. What belief about myself was born from that experience?

3. Is that belief still true today… or is it simply an old story I’ve continued to believe?

4. If I became the author of my life from this moment forward… what would the next chapter look like?

5. What one decision can I make today that my future self will thank me for?

Sometimes…

one honest question changes a life more than a hundred easy answers.


The SHREEBIRD Reflection

Perhaps…

we are not our childhood.

We are not our failures.

We are not our broken relationships.

We are not our worst mistakes.

Those are chapters.

Not the entire book.

Every morning…

life quietly hands us a blank page.

And without saying a word…

it asks,

“Who will you become today?”

That question…

is more powerful than anything your past has ever said about you.


The Final Answer

So…

are we shaped by our experiences?

Yes.

Are we influenced by our nature?

Absolutely.

But does either one completely define us?

No.

We are born with possibilities.

Life offers experiences.

Pain asks difficult questions.

Love gives us courage.

Wisdom gives us perspective.

And our choices…

turn all of them into identity.

That is why a human being is never merely a product of circumstance.

We are also creators of meaning.

And perhaps…

that is the greatest freedom we will ever possess.


Key Takeaways

  • Nature gives us a beginning, not a destination.
  • Experiences influence us, but they don’t imprison us.
  • Beliefs can be rewritten when awareness replaces fear.
  • The past explains you, but it does not own you.
  • Every conscious choice becomes a new sentence in the story of your life.

Quote of the Day

“You are not defined by what happened to you.
You are defined by the person you choose to become because of it.”

— SHREEBIRD


A Final Thought Before You Leave…

The next time someone asks you,

“Why are you the person you are?”

Don’t rush to blame your past.

Don’t surrender to your personality.

Instead…

smile.

Take a deep breath.

And remember—

Your past may have written the first few chapters.

Your nature may have chosen the ink.

But the pen…

The pen is still in your hands.

And perhaps…

that is the most beautiful truth about being human.


“Some people spend their lives trying to understand what happened to them.
Others spend their lives deciding who they will become because of it.
The difference between those two lives… is the difference between surviving and truly living.”

— SHREEBIRD


Becoming the Author of Your Own Story

“The greatest freedom in life is not choosing what happens to us. It is choosing who we become because of it.”


Imagine holding a book in your hands.

A book with hundreds of pages.

Now imagine discovering that only the first few chapters have already been written.

The rest…

are completely blank.

Would you keep rereading the painful chapters?

Or would you finally begin writing the next one?

Perhaps…

this is exactly what life asks of every human being.


Every Morning Is a Blank Page

Most people wake up carrying yesterday.

Yesterday’s mistakes.

Yesterday’s disappointments.

Yesterday’s fears.

Without realizing it…

they allow old chapters to dictate new ones.

But life never works that way.

The sun rises without asking what happened yesterday.

The trees bloom without remembering last winter.

The ocean doesn’t apologize for yesterday’s storm.

Nature never clings to its past.

Only human beings do.

And maybe…

that’s why we suffer longer than we need to.


You Are Allowed to Rewrite Your Story

One of the greatest lies we tell ourselves is—

“This is just who I am.”

But identity is not a prison.

It is a living conversation.

Every habit you change…

rewrites a sentence.

Every fear you confront…

rewrites a paragraph.

Every act of forgiveness…

rewrites an entire chapter.

Transformation doesn’t happen in one dramatic moment.

It happens quietly…

through ordinary choices made consistently.


The People Who Inspire Us…

Didn’t Escape Pain.

They Transformed It.

Think about the people whose lives continue to inspire generations.

They were not extraordinary because life spared them.

They were extraordinary because they refused to let pain become their final identity.

Their struggles became their teachers.

Their failures became their foundation.

Their losses became the birthplace of wisdom.

Maybe greatness has never been about avoiding suffering.

Maybe it has always been about transforming it.


Your Future Is Waiting for a Different Version of You

There is a version of you…

who has already forgiven.

Already healed.

Already become confident.

Already found peace.

That version isn’t waiting somewhere in the future.

It is quietly waiting inside your next decision.

Every choice moves you closer to that person…

or further away.

The future isn’t built by time.

It is built by today’s choices.


Before You Close This Article…

Pause.

Look back at your own life.

Not with regret.

Not with pride.

But with curiosity.

Ask yourself—

“If my past were a teacher instead of a prison… what would it be trying to teach me?”

Sometimes…

the answer to that single question changes everything.


The SHREEBIRD Promise

At SHREEBIRD, we don’t believe that knowledge alone changes lives.

Information fills the mind.

But reflection transforms the soul.

If this article has done one thing…

we hope it has encouraged you to stop asking—

“Why did this happen to me?”

And begin asking—

“Who am I becoming because of it?”

Because that question…

has the power to change not only your future—

but the way you remember your past.


One Last Message…

Life will continue to surprise you.

It will give you seasons of joy…

and seasons of silence.

It will introduce people who heal you…

and people who hurt you.

Some chapters will make perfect sense.

Others won’t.

But through all of it…

never forget this—

You are more than your circumstances.

More than your fears.

More than your failures.

More than your victories.

You are a work in progress.

A story still unfolding.

A soul still becoming.

And perhaps…

that is the most beautiful thing about being alive.


Final SHREEBIRD Quote

“Your experiences may shape your path.
Your nature may shape your instincts.
But your choices shape your destiny.
Never hand the pen of your life to your past.”

— SHREEBIRD



🌿 Before You Leave…

If you’ve read this far…

thank you.

In a world full of endless scrolling, you chose to pause, reflect, and think. That means more than you may realize.

At SHREEBIRD, we don’t simply publish articles.

We create conversations.

Because sometimes…

one thoughtful question can stay with us longer than a hundred easy answers.

If this article made you pause—even for a moment—then it has already fulfilled its purpose.


✍️ About the Author

SHIVASHRI GUPTAA

Writer • Philosophy Explorer • Book Reviewer • Self-Growth Enthusiast • Spiritual Thinker

I write for people who are curious about life.

For readers who don’t just want information—they want understanding.

Through SHREEBIRD, I explore psychology, philosophy, spirituality, books, communication, productivity, and timeless ideas that help us live with greater clarity, purpose, and compassion.

Every article is written with one intention:

To help you think deeper, grow wiser, and become a better version of yourself.


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or by who they truly are?

Or perhaps…

do you think both work together?

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📚 Recommended Reading

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like:

• The Mountain Is You https://shreebird.com/2026/07/15/%f0%9f%93%9a-shreebird-exclusive-8/

• Atomic Habits https://shreebird.com/2026/07/15/%f0%9f%93%9a-shreebird-exclusive-9/


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📖 Recommended Books

➡️ Atomic Habits https://www.amazon.in/dp/1847941834/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_2KVKQFYEKD8VWRTH92MQ?linkCode=ml1&tag=shreebird1904-21&linkId=f7b7feb69df92d4cecbfebb277a636e7

➡️ The Mountain Is You https://www.amazon.in/dp/9355434146/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_N74WNV00J3R1RW0MW5PS?linkCode=ml1&tag=shreebird1904-21&linkId=eaa3f218c90b5f64f5d8a46eb14846a0

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Written with ❤️ by

SHIVASHRI GUPTAA

Founder & Writer — SHREEBIRD

🌐 Website: https://shreebird.wordpress.com


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